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Attention All You Crazy Drivers In The Fair Oaks Neighborhood: Those Traffic Circles Are There To Slow You Down

Having spent much of my life in former British colonies, I am well versed in various British-isms:  marmite (yuck), lifts (not elevators), sprinkling my words with extraneous u’s … and the correct use of roundabouts — or “traffic circles” as they’re commonly known on this side of the Atlantic.  Sadly, many of the folks here in Silicon Valley seem to have missed that part of driver’s ed.

To reduce the tempatation of using the streets of Fair Oaks (in Menlo Park) as a convenient shortcut to avoid delays on Marsh Road and on Middlefield Road, the local neighborhood installed roundabouts traffic circles a while ago.  Most drivers slow down as they navigate around these obstacles, but some of the more aggressive drivers see them as a handy and challenging obstacle course, careening around them at full tilt, seemingly on two wheels.  Both the fast and the considerate drivers, however, still don’t seem to understand the most basic rule of traffic circles:  if you’re in the circle, you have the right of way.  If you’re not in the circle, you don’t have the right of way.

Simple, really — or it should be.  Alas, nearly every day brings about a near collision as a rule-following driver makes a left turn around a circle, while a non-rule-following driver comes merrily towards him, with no obvious intention of yielding.

People!  Slow down!  Yield the right of way to cars in the traffic circle.

‘Nuff said.

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900 University Ave, Palo Alto: Attention, Madam Secretary Rice: We Have The Perfect Home For You After January 20, 2008

Ms. Condoleezza Rice
Secretary of State

Kevin Boer, 3 Oceans Real Estate
Chris Iverson, Ventoux Real Estate

Dear Madam Secretary,

We understand based on recent news events (include Mr. Obama’s pre-emptive European victory lap), and on the harsh constitutional reality that your present employer will soon no longer be needing your services, that you may soon be looking for a new residence, perhaps near to your past employer Stanford University.

It seems, in fact, that Mr. Bush has already begun his own search, so there may be some urgency to this matter.

Allow us to suggest a residence suitable for a person of your experience and discerning taste: the Squire House at 900 University Ave in Palo Alto. This property is currently on the market, listed by the local Alain Pinel triumvirate Carol, Rosemary, and Nicole, for only $12.5M.

First of all, this home is a leisurely 20 minute walk down University Ave straight into the heart of the Stanford Campus:

Secondly, the facade of the home may well remind you of a similar grand mansion on the East Coast, one in which you have spent a considerable amount of time in the last 8 years:

(Image courtesy of 900UniversityAvenue.com)

Thirdly, the home is over 6000 square feet, and has a lot size of nearly one acre. This will provide ample room for all your entertainment, parking, and security needs.

Should you wish to view this property, have your people call our people, and we’ll make it happen.

Best regards,

Mssrs. Boer & Iverson

P.S. Some of your colleagues may be in a similar situation. We are happy to provide them with good references for real estate professionals in their home towns.

Mr. Paulson, for instance, may return to Manhattan to work for Goldman Sachs. May I recommend Mr. Noah Rosenblatt as the ideal discrete broker to assist him.

Should Mr. Gates return to his former employer, I recommend he contact Ms. Lani Anglin, who, though based in Austin, not College Station, would be a stellar pick.

If Mr. Gutierrez finds the siren song of Miami irresistible, I highly recommend Mr. Kevin Tomlinson.

Perhaps you could also relay to Senator McCain that, should he decide to retire, the right person to contact is Mr. James Wexler, one of the best real estate brokers in the Phoenix area. We understand this move might happen this year, or in 2012 or even 2016; Mr. Wexler is patient and will be awaiting his call.

Update:

Curtis Van Carter, who sells real estate in Napa Valley, claims he’s trying to nab another high-profile soon-to-be-unemployed individual, none other than “W” himself. Apparently, said individual, while in Napa Valley on a fund-raising expedition, took a little side trip to see a certain castle. Alas, it’s not even for sale, and spouse Laura found it cold and uninviting.

At the other end of the spectrum, Los Altos Realtor Joanne Fraser suggests Condi may have to settle for a $1.6M Los Altos home because Stanford profs only make $175K per year. I completely disagree. First, she’d be the Provost, not a mere professor, which means her salary would easily be $250K. Secondly, I’ve heard she may be getting help for the down payment. Finally, there are rumors of a book deal in the works!

Tags: Condi Rice, Palo Alto, Real estate, Secretary of State, Stanford

Hate Speling Misstakes And Bad Pictures in the MLS? Support My Campaign For NAR President And Put an End to this Nonsense once and for all

Having a little too much post-Inman fun and excitement…

Tags: Humor, Industry, NAR

Geeks Of The World Rejoice! Behold The First-Ever Twitter-MLS!

I’ve been accused — rightly, I might add — of being a geek. I also happen to be in real estate. You put the two together, plus a keen interest in using new social media tools like Twitter, and what do you get? The Twitter-MLS!

For a long time, MLS searches have been available via email. Recently, some real estate search providers — like our friends at Trulia and at Diverse Solutions — have enabled MLS searches via RSS feeds. (That’s actually the technology I use on the sidebar to provide the link searches.)

As the latest new big online thing, Twitter has attracted a massive cult following, and as a permission-based communication tool, it’s ideal for sending out news snippets such as new listings.

Here’s how it works:

1. Sign up for an account at Twitter if you haven’t done so already.
2. Head thither and “follow” my Twitter “Menlo Park MLS” account. Other towns in the Bay Area will follow shortly.
3. Sit back and enjoy the “tweets” that will come your way by cell phone, email, Twhirl, online (depending on how you configure Twitter). These “tweets” will be little news snippets about new homes to hit the market. Want more details? Click on the link in the tweet and you’ll see pictures, details, and much much more.

If you’re more of a FriendFeed type, I have the same offering available in FriendFeed room format. Find your way yonder, select your favorite city, and click “Join This Room.” And, as our British cousins would say, “Bob’s your uncle!”

FriendFeed room example for Burlingame:

Twitter example for Menlo Park:

Tags: FriendFeed, Real estate, Real-estate-technology, Technology, twitter

“I’m Sorry, I’m Twittering” — A Shameless Parody Of An Old Classic

Tags: Humor

Wine Country Agent One-ups Us

About a year ago we did what may have been the world’s first virtual open house.  Alas, we’ve been one-uped by Pam Buda, a Coldwell Banker agent in the wine country north of San Francisco.  In conjunction with Trulia, she’s live-web-casting her open house in Healdsburg today.

As video becomes more mainstream and more accessible via technologies like Qik, Mogolus, and ustream, this sort of event will probably become more common.

Pam Buda gets my vote for this year’s real estate Oscars!

Tags: Healdsburg, Open houses, Trulia

From The “I Missed That Class Where We Talked About ‘Place Value’” Department: Palo Alto Per-sq-ft Prices Drop Precipitously Down From $75,000

In a former life, I was a middle school math teacher. In the Peace Corps. In Botswana. I distinctly remember spending a number of days teaching about the importance of place value in numbers — you know, the concept that decimal points and zeros aren’t just decorations. .32 and 3.2 and 32 and 320 are distinctly different.

As far as I know, none of my former students are Realtors in Palo Alto. Which might explain this juicy little chart from our friends at Altos Research:

Note the drop in per-sq-ft prices a few years ago, from $75,000 per sq ft down to perhaps only a thousand bucks a sq ft. Then, a massive run-up back to over $20,000. Then back down again. Kind of like a scary roller-coaster ride.

Even during the incredible run-up in real estate prices, trust me, we were never at $75,000 per sq ft! The explanation for that chart? Simple: Every now and then a listing makes it onto the MLS with a misplaced decimal or zero. A $2,000,000 home gets listed for $200,000 (these mistakes are typically corrected quite quickly when the listing agent gets 100 phone calls in the first hour from agents wanting to make offers.) Then a $700,000 home gets listed for $7,000,000. (These mistakes take longer to correct. The agent wonders why nobody comes for the open house, then figures it out.)

Then there’s the square foot mistake, where a $1,600,000 home (price entered correctly) gets its floor space shrunk from 2000 sq ft (correct) to 2 sq ft (incorrect.) Voila! This home now costs $800,000 per sq ft! A few of these in the same week, and poof! Up goes that average!

Athol Kay has proved that, as a species, we Realtors aren’t that good at taking pictures. But for the love of God, people, can we please please please remember the importance of correctly-placed decimal points and zeros!

Tags: Altos Research, Palo Alto, realtors

Today’s Market Updates via Twitter

• Memorial Day weekend — expect little open house traffic, and not many open houses to check out. Most Realtors take a break this weekend. #

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Today’s Market Updates via Twitter

• http://twitpic.com/1dat - Testing from email with attachment #
• 2 new Palo Alto listings in last 24 hours: 2916 Ramona ($2.5M; 5/3) from
  Lynn Chou; 890 N Cal. ($1.6M 5/2.5) from Tim McKeegan #
• Eye candy alert: 5070 Alpine Road, Portola Valley. Only $8.4M! 7800 sq ft
  home. Listing agent Pat Looney #
• Palo Alto median home price now just under $2M #
• http://twitpic.com/1e76 - Bummed I couldn’t make broker tour today. Wanted to see 12335 Stonebrook in Los Altos Hills — $45M mansion, l … #

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Today’s Market Updates via Twitter

• @PhoenixREGuy Give my regards to your whole crew! Wish I could have been there as well… #
• Testing from twittermail #
• Listings are random…case in point: About 8 listings on Palmer Lane/15th Ave in Fair Oaks in a 3 block area. #
• Plus, many of the current Fair Oaks listings are HUGE — uncharacteristic of this neighborhood. 4 current or recent homes have been $1.5M+! #
• Sam Anagnostou’s listing at 523 Palmer Lane (Menlo Park) has already sold. Amazing interior, very tasteful. #
• http://twitpic.com/188q Menlo Park days on market is back to ~20 — right where we would expect it. #

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