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900 University Ave, Palo Alto: Attention, Madam Secretary Rice: We Have The Perfect Home For You After January 20, 2008

Kevin Boer, Broker Owner, 3 Oceans Real Estate, Inc. ()

August 4th, 2008 · 9 Comments

From the US State Dept Website: http://www.sta...Image via Wikipedia

Ms. Condoleezza Rice
Secretary of State

Kevin Boer, 3 Oceans Real Estate
Chris Iverson, Ventoux Real Estate

Dear Madam Secretary,

We understand based on recent news events (include Mr. Obama’s pre-emptive European victory lap), and on the harsh constitutional reality that your present employer will soon no longer be needing your services, that you may soon be looking for a new residence, perhaps near to your past employer Stanford University.

It seems, in fact, that Mr. Bush has already begun his own search, so there may be some urgency to this matter.

Allow us to suggest a residence suitable for a person of your experience and discerning taste: the Squire House at 900 University Ave in Palo Alto. This property is currently on the market, listed by the local Alain Pinel triumvirate Carol, Rosemary, and Nicole, for only $12.5M.

First of all, this home is a leisurely 20 minute walk down University Ave straight into the heart of the Stanford Campus:

Secondly, the facade of the home may well remind you of a similar grand mansion on the East Coast, one in which you have spent a considerable amount of time in the last 8 years:

(Image courtesy of 900UniversityAvenue.com)

Thirdly, the home is over 6000 square feet, and has a lot size of nearly one acre. This will provide ample room for all your entertainment, parking, and security needs.

Should you wish to view this property, have your people call our people, and we’ll make it happen.

Best regards,

Mssrs. Boer & Iverson

P.S. Some of your colleagues may be in a similar situation. We are happy to provide them with good references for real estate professionals in their home towns.

Mr. Paulson, for instance, may return to Manhattan to work for Goldman Sachs. May I recommend Mr. Noah Rosenblatt as the ideal discrete broker to assist him.

Should Mr. Gates return to his former employer, I recommend he contact Ms. Lani Anglin, who, though based in Austin, not College Station, would be a stellar pick.

If Mr. Gutierrez finds the siren song of Miami irresistible, I highly recommend Mr. Kevin Tomlinson.

Perhaps you could also relay to Senator McCain that, should he decide to retire, the right person to contact is Mr. James Wexler, one of the best real estate brokers in the Phoenix area. We understand this move might happen this year, or in 2012 or even 2016; Mr. Wexler is patient and will be awaiting his call.


Curtis Van Carter, who sells real estate in Napa Valley, claims he’s trying to nab another high-profile soon-to-be-unemployed individual, none other than “W” himself. Apparently, said individual, while in Napa Valley on a fund-raising expedition, took a little side trip to see a certain castle. Alas, it’s not even for sale, and spouse Laura found it cold and uninviting.

At the other end of the spectrum, Los Altos Realtor Joanne Fraser suggests Condi may have to settle for a $1.6M Los Altos home because Stanford profs only make $175K per year. I completely disagree. First, she’d be the Provost, not a mere professor, which means her salary would easily be $250K. Secondly, I’ve heard she may be getting help for the down payment. Finally, there are rumors of a book deal in the works!

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9 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Lani Anglin-Rosales // Aug 4, 2008 at 6:19 pm

    OMG this is TOO FUNNY! Well Michael Dell has a mountain here in Austin, perhaps Robert Gates would rather be here than College Station… just sayin’, Benn’s one hell of a Realtor and is happy to sell one mountain in Austin for the price of 1/20th of a mountain in N. Cali… ;)

  • 2 Gretchen ~ LifeStyle Denver // Aug 4, 2008 at 6:48 pm

    In the event that Ms. Rice would like to teach at her alma mater The University of Denver (go DU!) I would like to recommend that she consider looking at a couple of my listings - nowhere near $12mm and just as lovely as your Stanford listing- no ocean, but we do have mountains. One stellar home in Park Hill is just doors away from Denver’s current mayor!

  • 3 Kevin Boer, Broker Owner, 3 Oceans Real Estate, Inc. () // Aug 4, 2008 at 6:56 pm

    Gretchen, these listings sound lovely. I do want to make sure, however, that they are big enough to accommodate visiting heads of state, plus their security entourage. Ms. Rice has made that requirement very clear.

  • 4 Eric Trailer // Aug 5, 2008 at 9:13 pm

    Fabulous Posting Dr. Boer and Dr. Iverson! And should Dr. Rice be concerned about our property taxe rates here in CA, she’ll be happy to know that Squire is a historical property with half the property taxes of a non-historical home– that’s a savings of over $6,500 per month! To boot, we can likely find her a $6mm mortgage at about 6%, which is only $30,000 monthly! Dr. Rice, welcome home.

  • 5 1945 Knollwood Lane:Why Condi will have to settle for less! // Aug 7, 2008 at 10:09 am

    [...] Boer of 3oceansrealestate.com needs to do a little more homework before suggesting that Condi could buy a Palo Alto home valued [...]

  • 6 TahoeHomeTalk » Blog Archive » Condi- Come to Lake Tahoe for a Unique Home away from Home! // Aug 7, 2008 at 6:45 pm

    [...] she is headed back to Stanford University and have been sending her homes in the Palo Alto, CA, Kevin Boer thinks he has just the right place for her.  Not be outdone, Joanne Fraser  in Los Altos is [...]

  • 7 tony - Vidlisting // Aug 17, 2008 at 6:28 pm

    Given that I have heard that Ms. Rice is supposedly the poorest member of the Cabinet yet still has a supertanker named after her, I’m not sure that the $175k Stanford prof salary would be much of a problem at all to afford the property in question. :)


  • 8 tony - Vidlisting // Aug 17, 2008 at 6:33 pm

    Oops…turns out that the ship was “quietly renamed” in 2001


  • 9 Chris Iverson, Realtor // Sep 1, 2008 at 9:55 am

    A little known benefit of being a faculty member or very senior staff member (Provost qualifies) at Stanford University is that there are financial programs that the University provides to assist faculty members in purchasing a home.

    I have helped several faculty members purchase housing in Palo Alto in the last couple of years, and I would gladly trade homes with any of them!

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