A Kris Berg Moment: I Think The Terrorists Have Won

January 7, 2008

So here I am getting ready to leave bright and early tomorrow morning for Inman Connect 2008, but the logistics, as they say, they are a’daunting. Kris Berg has noted the same — twice, in fact.

Determined to bring break the lazy habit I have of stuffing a big suitcase to the gills with everything I think I may need, I’ve decided to downsize and make do with a carry-on suitcase plus the inevitable laptop bag. Problem is, that means my toiletries kit will be going through that all-seeing conveyor belt Cyclops run by the TSA. Now that could be embarrassing.

Even worse, it seems all my “liquids, gels, and aerosols” have to be 3-ounce sizes or less AND fit in a one-quart ziplock bag. Not just any clear plastic bag, mind you; no — a ziplock bag. (Makes you wonder: Did Michael Chertoff just buy some S. C. Johnson stock?)

And so I head out to the local convenience store, and 15 minutes later I walk out with only:

Apparently 3 ounces is a really small amount! (Where I grew up, also a former British colony, they used the smorgasboard approach to ingesting silly British-isms: take some, leave the rest. They drive on the right, unlike the Brits. They use Metric measurements, like the Brits — not English ones, like the Yanks. They spell color colour and center centre.  I have no frame of reference for “3 ounces.”) Convenience stores simply don’t have 3-ounce sizes of shaving cream, toothpaste, and the other toiletry sundries.

Off to the nearest Longs, a 10 minute drive away. 10 more minutes of futile looking, before finally breaking down and doing the unmanly thing: asking for directions. Turns out what I’m looking for is not travel size but sample size.

Finally, I’m ready to go.

Now if I can just find a way to smuggle some kunu on board.  I don’t think Michael Chertoff has a specific ruling on that!

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Written by Kevin · Filed Under Industry, Inman, Inman Connect 2008, Inman-Connect 

Comments

3 Responses to “A Kris Berg Moment: I Think The Terrorists Have Won”

  1. Norm Fisher on January 8th, 2008 7:30 am

    Have fun in NY!

    In case you missed this SNL sketch about “liquids and gels,” and airline security.

    http://www.metacafe.com/watch/428187/snl_homeland_security/

  2. Lola Audu on January 8th, 2008 2:57 pm

    Hi Kevin, Best Wishes for the New Year and Have Fun at Inman Connect. Did you ever find the kunu? …well, in New York, you might well be able to pick some up. :)

  3. Kris Berg on January 10th, 2008 5:48 am

    So sad that I find this post three days after you wrote it and while we ar sitting in New York. Hysterically funny, Kevin. (Small carry-on suit case? That explains why the suit is starting to look familiar.)

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