Hat tip to Lani Anglin of ReRevealed.com in a post on Bloodhound for this breaking news from The Onion: The Internet has crashed.

Reached by telegraph (since his Skype account was of course non-functional) Kevin Boer of 3Oceans real estate was in a state of panic. “How am I supposed to function without the Internet? I don’t know if any new homes have hit the market. I can’t comp a new listing. I can’t blog about it. Heck, I can’t even write a contract without the Internet! What am I supposed to do — drive to the office, go to the forms drawer, pull out a purchase contract, fill it in by hand, fax it (shudder!) to my client, have him sign it and fax it back? I don’t think any of my clients even has a fax machine, or knows how to use one for that matter, any more than they know how to use an abacus or a typewriter.”

Traditional Palo Alto Realtors whom he pilloried in a recent article, however, were ecstatic. “Now I can breathe easier,” said one of them, “without having to worry about driving across town to my office to check my email. I no longer have to remember my password for this silly online MLS thing they’ve been talking about. With any luck, this week’s listings will arrive how they always used to in the good old days — a big thick, book, delivered from our local association, and then we can all crowd around it in the conference room, then call our clients and tell them about the new listings! Heck, I can probably sneak into the back room and start using that typewriter, and nobody will give me a rough time.”

Breaking News: All Online Data Lost After Internet Crash

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