What Bad Housing Market? What We Need Are Tips On How To Win Multiple Offer Situations

April 4, 2008

Yes, the market is bad in many parts of the country — even many parts of the Bay Area.  But real estate, as the adage goes, is local, local, local — and in many of the good school district parts of the Bay, prices continue to go up and multiple offers are back in vogue.  Case in point — in the last week, there were at least two properties that sold with multiple offers — with “multiple” in this case meaning “more than 10.”

So, if you’re a buyer competing with other buyers, what should you do?  Our advice:  Pull out all the stops.  Here are some time-tested suggestions*:

  1. Bring a large manila envelope stuffed with 100 dollar bills to the offer presentation.  Discreetly slip it to the listing agent.
  2. Rename your first born after the owner of the property.  Bring said child to offer presentation, clearly labeled “I named him/her after you!”
  3. Offer a 15-year free rent-back to the sellers.
  4. Bring along your dream therapist.  Have him/her describe your last session in which you clearly saw yourself buying, owning, and living in the home.
  5. Lobby congress to make it illegal to not accept your offer.
  6. Stalk the seller for a few days ahead of the offer presentation.  Hold up signs saying, “Sell me your home!  Please!”
  7. Add an extra zero to the price you’re offering.
  8. Do a “presumptive close.”  The day of the offer presentation, show up with moving trucks, decorators, painters, and other assorted workmen.  Tell the current home owners you’re about to move in — didn’t they get the memo?
  9. Bring along your burly cousin to the offering.  Have him sit menacingly in the corner, swinging a baseball bat.  Make oblique comments about “keeping him happy” and “how disappointed he’ll be if I don’t win the house.”
  10. Put up a sign outside the offer presentation office saying, “The home has already sold!  Nah nah nah nah nah nah!”

* These suggestions are intended to be humorous.  Pleasure consult with your attorney and/or Realtor before following them.

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Written by Kevin · Filed Under Consumer, Humor, Industry 

Comments

3 Responses to “What Bad Housing Market? What We Need Are Tips On How To Win Multiple Offer Situations”

  1. Patti Herrington on April 4th, 2008 7:57 pm

    Very entertaining post.

  2. Jamie Geiger on April 4th, 2008 10:40 pm

    Real Estate is local- Amen- The last 3 offers I have written have had multiple offers. Price, location and condition- if you have all 3 the offers will come- Love the post

  3. theFrontSteps on April 5th, 2008 3:05 pm

    This post was just plain MONEY! Good laugh. Thanks!

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