3 Oceans Real Estate, A Boutique Real Estate Brokerage Serving the San Francisco Bay Area header image 4
 

Carnival of April Fools’ Frivolous Fun

April 1st, 2007 · 4 Comments

As one of the instigators of some of the re.net April tom-Foolery unleashed on the world today, I thought it only fitting to end the day with a little carnival of my own, before Christine Forgione unleashes the real one tomorrow.

The “Please Say It Ain’t So” prize goes to four winners:

The “Please Say It IS So” prize goes to Eric Hare, who informs us of Ben Bernanke’s dramatic plan to save the economy. Let’s just say that being a printer or a helicopter pilot may prove quite lucrative.

The “Linguistic Acrobatics” prize goes to Sacramento’s John Lockwood with his intriguing history of the name of Sacramento. Let’s just say that the California Central Valley’s drug problems started long before the current meth epidemic.

The “Trump This” prize goes to two creative pranksters:

  • Sellsius claims Donald Trump is getting into the Blog Apprentice thing
  • RainCityGuide’s uber-blogger Dustin Luther, in turn, claims he’s snagged the Donald’s apprentice to be his own!

The “See, You Can Make Make Money From Blogging” prize goes to

The “April Fools for Dummies” prize goes to Athol Kay, whose wry wit gives us a new bestseller: “Days on Market for Dummies.”

The “Should Have Been April Fools, But Unfortunately Wasn’t” prize goes to those who reported (a few days ago) that Trulia and Zillow had been kicked out of the Prudential conference in San Diego:

The “Coordinated Assault Wins Laughs, But No Believers” prize gets shared between

Alas, hard as we tried, we couldn’t get a whole lot of people to believe that Redfin had bought Move.com and that Glenn Kelman and Alan Dalton were to become Co-CEO’s.

Finally, I award myself the “Too Much Time On Your Hands” prize for putting together an analysis of the relative evil of two leading re.net bloggers.

Let me know if I’ve missed anybody!

Tags: , ,

[Read more →]

Tags: Carnival of real estate · RE April Fools · Real estate

Redfin Buys Move.com; Alan Dalton and Glenn Kelman Co-CEO’s of New Company RedfinMakeMeMove.com

April 1st, 2007 · 5 Comments

In a stunning move announced just hours ago, Seattle-based real estate startup Redfin.com announced it has purchased online real estate giant Move.com. With full details still to be announced, it appears that Redfin CEO Glenn Kelman dug deep into his warchest — and possibly tapped his Venture Capital investors to join in — and made a strategic acquisition.

“This acquisition just made darn good sense,” Kelman is quoted as saying. “Our main costs have been technology, in particular integrating our platform with local data feeds in our key markets. Since Move.com already has those data feeds in place on its own site, this reduces the costs of entering any new markets dramatically.”

Move.com’s CEO Alan Dalton, feisty as always, apparently vigorously fought against the deal over the last couple of days that negotiations were taking place. After Kelman sweet-talked the Move.com board into voting in favor of the takeover — a vote which is understood to have been nearly unanimous — Dalton reluctantly capitulated. “I wasn’t in favor of the deal at first,” he admitted in the joint press conference, “but in the end, the offer was just too good to turn down. Besides, we’re kind of sick of this whole online real estate thing anyways, and by turning the keys over to Redfin — a good and honorable bunch of folks, who have shown they are committed to the well-being of Realtors everywhere — we can get rid of what has been a huge personal headache for me.”

While the deal still has to be approved by Move.com’s shareholders, approval is all but guaranteed, as the offer was apparently several dollars per share higher than Friday’s closing price.

Much of the negotiation centered around what the name of the new company would be. Kelman: “We considered RedfinMove.com and MoveRedfin.com, but nobody liked how those names sounded. When somebody suggested RedfinMakeMeMove.com, almost as a joke, we all liked it. We figured we could capitalize on the buzz Zillow has been creating with its MakeMeMove concept.”

Questions about the deal have flying around the re.net all day. Rudy and Joe of Sellsius, a leading real estate blog, were skeptical about the prospect of Dalton and Kelman working closely together. “They’re both strong personalities, and we saw some sparks flying in their last encounter at Inman.”

“It’s all about transparency,” says Pat Kitano of TransparentRe.com. “Move.com has been translucent, perhaps even opaque, in its dealings. Shining the RE.net light on the company will definitely make it more transparent.”

Teresa Boardman of StPaul (Not Minneapolis) RealEstateBlog was also succinct. “Redfin? You’ve got to be kidding. We’re in flyover country here, with real estate prices stuck in the five digit range. Redfin doesn’t know we exist.”

Asked about the prospect of working together, Dalton was caught rolling his eyes before responding amicably, “I have no problem with Glenn. He’s an honorable man. A decent and honorable man. I look forward to working together.”

Kelman, the glow of victory all around him, is rumored to have muttered under his breath, “This’ll teach that old dude to respect me some more” before making a more conciliatory public statement, “I know Alan and I have had our differences. But at the end of the day, it’s all about helping the consumer, which this deal will definitely do.”

Dustin Luther, uber-blogger of RainCityGuide.com and also a Move.com employee, confirmed speculation about his role in the new company. “It’s like pulling teeth getting Realtors to blog on Move.com. Redfin’s idea of cutting out Realtor bloggers and replacing them with paid civilians is sheer genius. I look forward to taking over and re-branding Redfin’s Sweet Digs blogging series.”

Asked to comment on the rumor that any agent wanting an enhanced listing on the new site would have to first contribute 20 quality blog posts, Luther was non-commital.

The final piece of still unresolved negotiation is where the new company’s headquarters will be. With Redfin currently located in Seattle, and with Move.com’s headquarters in LA suburb Westlake Village, it is rumored that Bay Area realtor Kevin Boer has suggested splitting the difference and moving to the Bay Area. “Heck, I’ll find them a good building. I’ll even rebate them 2/3rd’s of the commission!”

——————–

Brought to you by the 2007 re.net April Fool’s commission.

Tags: , , , , , ,

[Read more →]

Tags: Alan Dalton · Glenn Kelman · Industry · Move.com · RE April Fools · Real estate · Redfin

It’s Official: Joseph Ferrara is More Evil Than Teresa Boardman, But Less Evil than Papa Smurf

April 1st, 2007 · 8 Comments

My curiousity piqued by the ongoing weenie vs. cheez-whiz controversy, I rented a GE pravometer to test the truth behind Greg Swann’s assertion that Joe Ferrara is more evil than Teresa Boardman.

2007-03-31_18-00-36-437.png
The results confirmed Greg’s statements: Joe is indeed more evil than Teresa.

Let’s put this into perspective. I started by calibrating the pravometer. Per the instruction manual, the best way to do that is by pointing it at a pretty benign, but also not completely sinless, character. Using infrared waves, the device is able to find out the most evil act ever committed by the subject. I chose Papa Smurf, and he came out at a score of “3″ on a scale of 1 to 1000. The device’s explanation: In one long-ago episode, Papa Smurf apparently used the word, “Darn.”

Then it was on to Teresa, who registered a “1″ because once, when she was but a 3-year old lass, she entertained the thought (for just a few seconds, mind you), of stealing some cookies from a cookie jar. When confronted with this revelation, Teresa fessed up immediately. “I was hungry, and there were these cookies sitting around. I was 3 years old, for crying out loud! Of course I contemplated stealing them! Thankfully, I resisted. Otherwise I might have beat Joe!”

Joe, it turns out, does indeed have more of a penchant for evil, as he came out a “2″. The offending act was also one of cookie theft at a young age, but this time not just contemplation of the act, but actual indulgence therein. Joe’s version of events: “I was also 3, and I was also hungry. My mom had left these delicious home-made chocolate chip cookies in a jar on the shelf above the stove. I just couldn’t resist. I thought about taking 2 of them, but settled on just half of one. It was delicious. My conscience is still bugging me decades later.”

Though the instruction manual warned against it, I tried it out on myself too. I don’t feel comfortable giving out all the results, but let’s just say I cracked the two-digit barrier, if only barely, and the act in question, which took place when I was 16, involved a can of kerosene (suitably stabbed with nails to make tiny holes in it), a bicycle, a bungee cord to attach the can to the back of the bicycle, and some matches. I discovered — and I have scars on my knee prove it — that, even on a bike, I am not faster than the speed of spreading fire.

——————–

Brought to you by the April Fools’ RE.net silly post consortium.

Tags: , ,

[Read more →]

Tags: Industry · RE April Fools · Real estate